I'm glad I never worked in TV news!

By Jeff Orvis

“This just in to the CNN newsroom: George Zimmerman, recently acquitted of murder, released a statement through his attorney that reads, 'It sure is hot today!' CNN will explore the implications of this statement in a round-table including three prominent attorneys and two prominent meteorologists, three of whom will be blonde and former beauty queen contestants.

“Anderson Cooper and Piers Morgan will each present one-hour specials, sure to be repeated several times over the coming weeks, which will explore the far-reaching consequences of Zimmerman's statement and how it might affect all mankind.

“Stay tune for any additional breaking news on this subject, which we will bring to you live, unless it occurs after 10 p.m.”

I probably just dreamed the preceding scenario as I dozed off during today's coverage of the opening round of the British Open (nice job Zach Johnson!). But I don't think I'm alone in my disgust with the continuing beating of the dead horse that is this case in Sanford, FL. There was a time when you could rely on most of the news networks – well maybe except Fox – for concise, accurate reporting of the news. But 24 hours to fill each day, plus shrinking newsroom budgets, plus increasing competition from several sources more often than not result in the flood of repetition we have been subjected to over the past few months.

I predict the attention of the network folks will soon shift from Florida to Cleveland, where a kidnapping suspect has been charged with nearly 1,000 counts of rape and kidnapping. He is accused of holding and brutalizing three young women for 10 years. Of course he pleaded innocent. Many, if not all of these charges could result in the death penalty.

I wonder if his defense team will attempt to have the suspect tried individually on each of the 512 kidnapping and 446 rape charges? If this was possible, the way our judicial system operates, he could demand a jury trial on each of the charges. How in the world did the prosecution come up with this crazy number of charges? And how are they going to prove his guilt on charge number 307 or 412?

I certainly don't mean to trivialize this incident. By all accounts, the young women went through hell for a decade. But in light of how the national media focused it's attention for so long on the Zimmerman case, it almost seems like somebody at network headquarters had a hand in determining the final number of counts. At this rate, it almost guarantees that several news crews will grow old in Cleveland.

I know it's easy for someone who has never worked professionally in TV journalism to poke fun at his colleagues. But there are currently two other news events that would seem like the easiest, most boring assignments around. At this writing, we are still awaiting the birth of the next member of British royalty. The Today show, along with I suspect dozens of other outlets, have dispatched sweet, young correspondents to sit outside a hospital in London, waiting for the big day. As long as the weather is good and you can stake out a comfortable chair, I guess there are worst ways to make a few thousand dollars each week.

The reporters and crews I really feel sorry for are those who are currently staked out near the Moscow airport, waiting to see if Edward Snowden, alleged spy leaker, will leave the airport grounds. Day after day for several weeks now, there has been little or no news coming from that location. But you don't want to be the producer that has to explain to the executives why you decided to pull your crew the day before something happened!

Given my choice, I'd much rather spend the day along a London street than putting up with Moscow summer weather and dodging snarling Moscow policemen.

Those of us who grew up watching the evening network newscasts at the dinner hour have our favorites. Ever since I can remember, our household was tuned to NBC for the 5:30 national news. I grew up with Huntley and Brinkley, John Chancellor, Tom Brokaw and currently Brian Williams. It's not that CBS and ABC don't do the news as well. But for us, we had a comfort level with NBC.

It's nice to see in this era where there is so much sad, tragic news to report, that Brian Williams maintains a wonderful sense of humor. You can sometimes see hints of it during his broadcasts, but even more when he makes guest appearances on Letterman or Leno. Last night, before leaving the Letterman show, he did a wonderful spot-on impersonation of Regis Philbin. I thought Letterman was going to fall off his chair from laughter.

I guess Williams and many of his colleagues have learned that unless you have the benefit of a sense of humor, you won't last long in this business. Or else you will be sent to camp out near the Moscow airport!