By Jeff Orvis
I've recently resumed in earnest my job search. Since I still have about three years before I could claim the minimum Social Security, I've got to get busy. As I've been thinking about what I might be qualified to do, a unique idea popped into my head.
I could become a certified human backdrop.
No I didn't stay doorstop. And yes, I will continue to hold the door for folks who I encounter in entrances to buildings.
So just what is a human backdrop? As we've seen endless appearances by our presidential candidates, there is quite often a common factor. As the candidate speaks to his supporters, there's usually a bunch of folks standing behind him. We can't be sure that everyone in that crowd supports the speaker, but usually they are carrying signs of support or are wearing t-shirts supporting their man, or both. I could do that. For the right price, I could even do it, without laughing out loud, for the guy I don't support...but only for a few minutes.
Campaign rallies are only the tip of the iceberg. I recall one day when President Obama was addressing some folks in the White House on the subject of health care. Everyone in the audience and those behind him were wearing doctors' coats! It looked like the White House staff had pulled a bus up to the front door of a major hospital in the Washington area and ordered everyone with a white doctor's coat onto the bus for a free tour of the White House and a quick meet-and-greet with the top man.
I realize it might be a stretch for anyone to think I could look like a doctor. But it seems that at least once a week, the President makes a public statement on law enforcement, education, the economy, etc. and there's usually a group of common, ordinary folks standing behind him. I could pretend to be an ordinary guy, for the right price.
When you watch the evening news and there's a report of some natural disaster somewhere, the mayor or governor of the affected area is usually flanked by a bunch of folks, presumably government officials or law enforcement people. Some are in uniform, many are not. A few are usually asked to speak to the assembled media, but some just stand there until the news conference is over. I could stand there and look concerned and on top of the situation, as long as nobody asked me any questions.
This practice is probably as old as TV. The people who make a living making a public figure look good early on discovered that in an era where the average attention span of a typical viewer is somewhere around 30 seconds, filling up the screen behind their guy would give him some instant credibility.
“If all those people behind this guy believe him when he says the world is flat, it must be true!”
Some folks who are familiar with my past ask me why I don't try for a careeer in TV news. My instant response is that I long ago realized that I have a face (and body) for radio or print media, not the screen. So maybe I should keep on looking for something else to do. Besides, I really don't like to travel very far and a credible human backdrop would probably spend a lot of times in airplanes.
Now, on to another topic. If you are a Quad-City area high school football fan and were watching the late night sports report on Friday, there was a story that undoubtedly brought you from your possible drowsy state. For those of us who are proud alumni of Pleasant Valley High School, it was a shock: Pleasant Valley 38, Bettendorf 0.
It was the first time Bettendorf had been shut out in six years, it's worst conference defeat in history and the worst loss it had experienced since 1970. The Spartan win came after 12 straight losses to the Bulldogs.
“This win was for all the PV players past and present,” PV linebacker Dallas Carter was quoted as saying after the game. Truer words were never spoken.
Back in the late 1960s, Pleasant Valley was a new football program. We had convinced some schools like Camanche, Northeast of Goose Lake and Clinton St. Mary's to play us. But perhaps no game was more anticipated than an October encounter with the Bettendorf JV team. The Bulldogs had agreed to play their JV against our more inexperienced varsity on the Bettendorf field. I was a manager on that team. Since it was just a few miles to the field, our guys suited up and boarded the bus. That's when the snow began to fall. It was one of those early snowstorms, with big, wet flakes. We sat there for a few minutes, wondering where our coaches were.
Soon, the coach boarded the bus and said, “Boys, I've got some bad news. Bettendorf just called and canceled the game. They don't want their field to get chewed up in this wet weather.” I thought there would be a full-scale riot. I've never seen a team as upset, especially before the first kickoff. Our guys had no choice than to climb off the bus, change clothes and go home. We didn't have a lighted football field yet, so there was no other alternative.
As the years went by, the Bulldogs went their way and we went our way, until the two schools grew closer to similar enrollment and became members of the same conference. That led to a decade of disappointment and Bettendorf dominance until last Friday night.
I realize that most of the officials of the two schools who made the decision to cancel that game more than four decades ago are long gone. But I'd like to think that our coaches from back then are smiling this week.
So, congratulations to the 2012 Spartan football team. Decades of alumni salute you!
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