As we get older, many of us don't view things as we once did. Some call it wisdom, some call it intolerance, some may call it becoming old and out of touch. I don't know in which category I fall into, but there are some things I wish someone would explain to me. When I see some of these things, I want to ask people, "What were you thinking?" If I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, I might ask, "What am I missing? Why is this a good idea?"
So at the risk of alienating the majority of my friends one way or another, here goes. I should also point out that I am not going to mention politics here. That's for another time.
Tattoos - Who was the first person who woke up one morning and decided to draw some sort of design somewhere on his or her body with ink injected by needles? Why was this a good idea? What am I missing? What were they thinking? Tattoos have become the status symbol in recent years. They seem to be a badge of courage, or something like that. But it would seem to me that what may seem like a good idea when you are 20 years old suddenly isn't such a good idea 10 years later. A young woman may feel the need to put ink to shoulder. But what about 10 years later when she wants to wear some sort of off-the-shoulder garment? A young guy may think it's cool to put letters on each of his knuckles on his hand. But what if he gets a job as a salesman a few years later?
I watched most of the games in the recent NCAA basketball tournament. Nearly every team had at least a few players who were inked to the max. The lone exception was Princeton, probably the team with the highest grade point average in the tourney. Coincidence? Maybe not.
Another popular body alteration is piercings. What was once a single pierce of each ear lobe from which to hang fashionable earrings for women has exploded into an industry where people are finding new places to poke holes in their bodies. Why would anyone want to pierce their tongue? What am I missing? I've seen girls with loops pierced through their noses and I can only conclude that such additions would make it easier for someone to hook a leash to and lead them around. Some even have what appear to be gold fish hooks tacked through their lower lips.
I guess my dad was decades ahead of his time when had a similar piercing probably 50 years ago. His was performed by Dr. Northern on a Minnesota lake, when he was out in the boat by himself and landed a northern pike. Before he could fully subdue the fish, it spit the hook out and it lodged in my dad's hand. Dad tried to start the motor on the boat and of course, it wouldn't start. He had to row across the lake back to the cabin. Since nobody else in the family could drive at that point, he drove to the hospital in Brainerd, alternating feelings of pain, fear of passing out from blood loss and embarrassment. The doctors did their best to alleviate the first two problems, then pointed to a board in the emergency room where several other hooks, taken from other human victims, were on display.
On my current job hunt, I realize that I'm not much to look at and I have to do whatever I can to improve my appearance. But if I was on the other side of that interview desk and someone came in looking for a job who had one of those little gold balls poking from a nostril, I'm afraid I'd have a tough time concentrating on what the prospect was saying.
Now on to some other nagging questions that may be more common to a lot of us.
I recently bought a bottle of aspirin. The pill bottle was encased in a box, which was sealed. The bottle had one of those child-proof caps. Once I got that stupid cap off, the top of the bottle had a seal, which was another treat to remove. Then there was this wad of cotton stuffed inside the top of the bottle. I have to admit that all of this procedure did the trick. By the time I reached the product, I forgot all about the pain I had hoped to ease by taking the pills. I also realize that some of this is needed to keep us safe from nuts who would tamper with the product. But isn't this going a bit overboard? What am I missing?
Baseball season has started and it seems that a majority of the players have decided to make a fashion statement and wear baggy pants instead of the traditional short pants and colorful stirrup socks. I realize I'm old and out of touch and my first baseball hero was Mickey Mantle. But why spend hundreds of dollars to outfit players in fancy uniforms if they're going to ruin the look with baggy pants? And what about wind resistance for base runners?
Thankfully another baseball tradition seems to be fading. I see fewer and fewer players who appear to be chewing tobacco while playing. It would seem to me that one check of the American Cancer Society web site and pictures of the effects of oral cancer should make anyone switch to sugarless bubble gum.
Some of my friends are hooked on reality TV shows. The shows come in dozens of forms from guys who travel around the country going through barns and garages finding hidden treasures to singers trying to make careers to shows where you can ride along with state troopers. In the spirit of full disclosure, I will say I am hooked on "American Pickers" since the stars are from the Quad-Cities, "American Idol," especially this year when the top dozen singers have incredible talent and "Alaskan State Troopers," where the officers encounter different challenges in the American wilderness and where the scenery is awesome.
But there are some shows, such as "The Real Housewives of ..." that really boggle the mind. Where do you find real people who look like those portrayed in those shows? Maybe the show should be called "The Painted Ladies of Hollywood" in the spirit of reality.
The last topic is another serious one. Law enforcement often conducts surveys which recently have shown more than 80 percent of us are wearing our seat belts when we are in the car. But it seems there are still times when you are watching the news and there's a report of a fatal accident. That's punch number one. The second punch lands when it's reported that the passengers were thrown from the vehicle. The knockout blow comes when it's reported that they were not wearing seat belts.
Clicking that seat belt should be as automatic as turning the key in the ignition. How many of the victims of accidents where seat belts are not used probably thought, "It won't happen to me." I know I'm old and probably out of touch. I'm also not indestructable. Please people, for the sake of your family and friends, take the time to buckle up!
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