Step aside, Tea Party, try this one

It seems that you can't turn on any national newscast these days without hearing about the Tea Party. A group of well-meaning Americans got together one day and decided that they were mad as hell and weren't going to take it anymore. Their aim was to protest excessive government spending. Somebody in the group who was awake during their high school American history class, got the idea to call their movement the Tea Party, remembering their study of colonial times.

Pretty soon, hundreds, then thousands began demonstrating, carrying signs demanding the government cut spending and cut taxes. In this era when most of us have to watch our personal spending more than ever, this seemed like a reasonable request. Trouble is, I'll bet if you ask a dozen of the Tea Party followers, you wouldn't be able to find more than two or three concrete suggestions on where the budget should be cut.

Compounding this apparent lack of definite direction, it didn't take long for some of the more radical political figures in this country to jump on this bandwagon. The field was ripe for picking up votes from this frustrated group and it seems like details didn't matter. Just say you were in favor of cutting the budget and suddenly you were hiring a staff for your congressional office.

Suddenly, it was time for these young members of Congress to put their ideas where their mouths were just a few months before. Now that you're here, where do we cut? What's even more frightening, is some politicians with even higher aspirations and similar views have their sites set on the White House in 2012. Apparently, they think that all they have to do is run on the promise of a leaner federal budget and they will be able to move their desk into the Oval Office. It's quite possible that the next serious candidate for president, at least from one of the major parties, would be hard-pressed to find Iran or the Sudan on a map of the world. Sorry, we can't be bothered with dealing with these international problems. We're busy cutting the budget.

As I said, the goals of the originators of the Tea Party movement should not be downplayed. It's true that we have to reign in spending or we will all be working for China in a few years. The point is, it's not as easy as some of those people would have you believe. If it was easy, Sarah Palin would be vice president, sitting on her front porch looking for Russia.

I also have problems with the name of this movement. I think it's time Tea Party followers come clean and admit just what kind of tea they prefer. Since they're so concerned with economics and money, most of them may prefer green tea. Since some predict a period of gloom and doom, maybe they would prefer black tea. In the spirit of full disclosure, I'll admit I drink iced tea nearly every day. It comes in instant form from a jar. I don't know what color the tea leaves were.

I think it's time to form a new movement, one that better reflects the American spirit. My new movement would be called the Beer Party. Let me explain.

When you think of beer, you may automatically think of the commercials where young people are having a good time in a group or an establishment. If you drink a certain brand of beer, you're guaranteed to get the girl or guy. But that's just the tip of the iceberg (or keg). Our local supermarket recently added a big beer and liquor department. One wall is lined with literally hundreds of brands of beer from all over the world. There's even a two-story walk-in cooler with cases of beer as far as the eye can see.

I'm sure that in this part of the Midwest, the best selling brews at this store come from a handful of well-known companies. But the point is, beer drinkers come from all walks of life and the store owners realized this and spent considerable resources to give them a choice. If you say you don't like beer, try a different kind. If you don't want the alcohol, they make several varieties of non-alcoholic beer.

Beer is good for our economy and for international relations. Farmers in this country grow grains for domestic beers. Deck hands and truckers bring beer to us from all over the world. Can we really say that about tea? How many business deals were brokered, how many differences were resolved when two people were able to meet over a beer? Far more than over a cup of tea, I would guess.

There might be a few people out there who want to become activists who simply can't find a beer they enjoy. They could form their own group and become allied with the Beer Party. They could call themselves the Pizza Party.

This has been an attempt at presenting a tongue-in-cheek look at a serious problem. The moral of the story is we get the message that there's a problem with our economy. Now lets put forth some constructive ideas on how to fix it. In the meantime, pour me another one to go with that slice of deep-dish supreme.