If at first you don't secede...

By Jeff Orvis

Well, it didn't take the Tea Party kooks to resurface. Just days after a slim majority of us gave President Obama a hesitant vote of confidence for another four years, a campaign was started to sign petitions to allow some states to secede from the union.

Apparently there's a spot on the White House web site where residents may petition the federal government to allow for secession. The site indicates that when there are at least 25,000 signatures from any state, the White House will comment on the petition. At last count, there were 11 states with at least 25,000 signatures.

Not too surprising, Texas leads the way with 117,373 signatures. I wasn't surprised, since I have relatives there who reflect the traditional independent nature of Texans. In fact, when we visited Dallas a few years ago, I was informed that the Texas constitution allows for the state to leave the United States whenever enough voters wanted to. This was while we were still languishing under the failed presidency of a former Texas governor who somehow was elected president twice. My immediate response was that if that happened, I had a suggestion on who they could get as their president...”W,” enter stage right!

The days after the election, I heard a few people who voted for the other guy grumble that they were thinking about moving to Canada. But a lot of those people were strongly against the Affordable Health Care Act (Obamacare). As soon as they realized that Canada is even more progressive when it comes to providing health care to all of its residents, the talk of heading north faded away.

Then came this secession movement. More than 1 million of our friends and neighbors have signed the petition. Of the 11 states who have had at least 25,000 signatures, 10 of them are south of Iowa. That may explain another reason why they have taken on this form of protest and frustration rather than the move to Canada talk. This is the time of year when a lot of people move to Texas and points south. There's already a lot of snow in Canada.

At the very least, this talk of secession has provided plenty of fuel for discussion by professors and students of constitutional law. The possibilities and potential problems are enough to easily spill over to another column. The next time a major hurricane hits Texas or Florida, if those states were no longer part of the United States, how long could they go it alone? Even in peaceful weather times, how many billions of dollars would be lost if the United States suddenly pulled out all military personnel from bases in those states? No more Medicare or Social Security. If Texans are upset with the federal tax rate now, what would they pay in state income taxes if they suddenly had to go it alone?

I can empathize with those who were frustrated with the election. Some of the points made by the Republicans, specifically the dire warnings of our sick economy, have plenty of merit. It's just that most of the messengers the GOP put out there, especially several of the presidential candidates, were merely prime ammunition for Saturday Night Live skits and Leno and Letterman. When the other party can promote a sensible candidate who is not afraid of the word “compromise,” then things could be different next time.

Let's just hope there are still 50 states voting in 2016.

A not-surprising endorsement

By Jeff Orvis

We are finally on the eve of the presidential election. So far, I have refrained from doing a lot of commentary on this whole process, other than to point out the obvious – that too much money is spent on the very annoying tactics the representatives of the candidates are using to promote their person.

But after reading countless posts from some of my Facebook friends, people I believe are otherwise really intelligent individuals, here's my one shot at a response.

Last week, I went to our county auditor's office and proudly voted for President Obama. I voted for the man, what he stands for, what he has attempted to do to right the ship these past four years despite overwhelming odds from the far right. I voted for him because of the party he is affiliated with. The Democrats have historically represented the philosophy that most closely reflects mine.

The current crop of Republicans represent the party of Glen Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Michelle Bachman, Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Newt Gingrich, that congressional candidate who had to convince her voters that she wasn't a witch, that congressional candidate who claims that women who are raped will magically find a natural way not to get pregnant, another congressional candidate who claims that it's God's will when someone is raped and the list goes on and on. And let's not forget that gleaming national spokesman, Donald Trump.

Some of my Facebook friends actually quote Beck and Limbaugh, as if they are somehow equal to Cronkite, Huntley or Brinkley. I find it interesting that some of the candidates I've heard try to claim that the Republican party is the party of Lincoln or Reagan. I didn't hear anyone claim it is the party of Bush or Agnew or Dan Quayle.

This race is coming down to the wire. A lot of people who claim to have voted for Obama last time are now so frustrated with the economy that they are apparently willing to try anything different. I hope that those who have not yet cast their vote will take a minute to think before they fill in that circle next to the candidate.

President Obama has experience helping those who are down and out. He has grown in his tenure in the White House and has shown that he is a strong commander-in-chief. Even though I am one of those definitely affected by the sour economy, I have faith that if given more time and a more responsive congress (Republican and Democrat) that will truly represent their constituents and work as a team with the executive branch, we can get this thing turned around.

I have no doubt that Mitt Romney is a good person. He has a strong wife who has battled serious health issues to be a strong advocate for her husband. His family is personable. He is apparently a man of faith. As a successful businessman, he probably entered the race because of his fears on the future of the economy.

Although he has won the endorsement of several newspapers across the country, perhaps the Salt Lake Tribune said it best in its endorsement of Obama. I'm paraphrasing here, but the editors said they really wanted to endorse Romney. He did a good job heading up the Salt Lake Olympics. But since then, it has been difficult to figure out which Romney we would be voting for. He has changed his positions on several issues in recent years, seeming to see which way the political winds are blowing. As the leader of the free world, we need someone whose stand is known and not subject to change.

Although he has made some decisions over the past four years that he might want to change, President Obama has stayed strong in his principles. We know where he's coming from. I am more confident with where we can go if he is given a vote of confidence on Tuesday.

Pro football: it takes an army

By Jeff Orvis

Today's topic has nothing to do with political prognostications. You won't find any highly-charged emotional notes here. This time, we're talking about football, but not specifically about the recent success of Peyton Manning with the Broncos, or the Iowa Hawkeyes or even my alma mater, the undefeated Pleasant Valley Spartans.

There's an old saying that behind every successful man is a loving, caring woman. It's probably an outdated saying, since more and more women are as successful – or more so – than their male counterparts. The point is, it's almost impossible to succeed by yourself.

If it takes a village to raise a child, as Hillary Clinton very wisely pointed out, it appears that it takes a virtual army to ensure the success of a pro football team. Even on the high school level, the quarterback or wide receiver may grab the headlines for a great performance. But even before he stepped out on the field, somebody had to make sure he had a chin strap, his helmet was adjusted properly and his ankles were taped. I speak from personal experience, after spending my high school years as one of those behind-the-scenes guys on my high school team.

Back then, our high school team existed with a head coach, a couple of assistants and a couple of student trainers who doubled as equipment guys. Most larger high schools now have an adult trainer and there's usually a doctor on scene at games and and ambulance standing by on the sidelines.

It would appear that as the caliber and level of play and the accompanying national noteriety increases, so do the available resources for a football program and the number of folks it takes to make sure the success continues. A small college team might have four or five assistant coaches and three or four trainers, equipment people, etc. Major colleges might have three or four times that number.

As a longtime fan of the Chicago Bears, I was wondering how many people worked on a daily basis to try and produce a winner. So I did a quick computer search and downloaded five pages of the Bears' staff directory. There are more than 160 positions listed and that doesn't even include the 53 players on the active roster or the eight-member practice squad.

There are nine members on the board of directors, with six of them members of the McCaskey family. The management division lists seven positions. Nine people are needed for the accounting department and five work in information technology. One of the more interesting divisions is the administration division. Twenty-five positions are listed here and includes team and building operations, stadium operations, three “stadium experience” personnel, four groundskeepers and five security people.

Two men are in charge of business development. The corporate communications division has 32 staff members who are in charge of media relations, broadcast operations, community relations, player appearances, the team web site and even a mascot coordinator.

Five positions are listed under “football administration and legal counsel. The sales and marketing department has 30 positions. The coaching staff has 20 positions. There are three assistant athletic trainers, four in charge of equipment, ten in player personnel and four in video services.

So now you have some idea what it takes to run an NFL team. Some former standouts from Iowa colleges were hired for various team practice squads. Each team can have eight players on that team. While each of the 53 members on the active roster are paid at least $390,000 per year, practice squad members receive a minimum of $85,000 a year. It's a chance for them to continue their dream, but hardly gold bling or expensive sports car territory.

There's much more to a Sunday game than suiting up and throwing a football on the field. Somebody back home has to be in charge of the transporting, feeding and lodging of perhaps 80 or more members of the traveling party each time the team goes out of town.

Thinking about all of the details each game takes might make your head hurt. But sometimes it's nice to realize that before Jay Cutler threw that first touchdown pass, a lot of things had to happen just right, thanks to that small army.

Perhaps a new career path?

By Jeff Orvis

I've recently resumed in earnest my job search. Since I still have about three years before I could claim the minimum Social Security, I've got to get busy. As I've been thinking about what I might be qualified to do, a unique idea popped into my head.

I could become a certified human backdrop.

No I didn't stay doorstop. And yes, I will continue to hold the door for folks who I encounter in entrances to buildings.

So just what is a human backdrop? As we've seen endless appearances by our presidential candidates, there is quite often a common factor. As the candidate speaks to his supporters, there's usually a bunch of folks standing behind him. We can't be sure that everyone in that crowd supports the speaker, but usually they are carrying signs of support or are wearing t-shirts supporting their man, or both. I could do that. For the right price, I could even do it, without laughing out loud, for the guy I don't support...but only for a few minutes.

Campaign rallies are only the tip of the iceberg. I recall one day when President Obama was addressing some folks in the White House on the subject of health care. Everyone in the audience and those behind him were wearing doctors' coats! It looked like the White House staff had pulled a bus up to the front door of a major hospital in the Washington area and ordered everyone with a white doctor's coat onto the bus for a free tour of the White House and a quick meet-and-greet with the top man.

I realize it might be a stretch for anyone to think I could look like a doctor. But it seems that at least once a week, the President makes a public statement on law enforcement, education, the economy, etc. and there's usually a group of common, ordinary folks standing behind him. I could pretend to be an ordinary guy, for the right price.

When you watch the evening news and there's a report of some natural disaster somewhere, the mayor or governor of the affected area is usually flanked by a bunch of folks, presumably government officials or law enforcement people. Some are in uniform, many are not. A few are usually asked to speak to the assembled media, but some just stand there until the news conference is over. I could stand there and look concerned and on top of the situation, as long as nobody asked me any questions.

This practice is probably as old as TV. The people who make a living making a public figure look good early on discovered that in an era where the average attention span of a typical viewer is somewhere around 30 seconds, filling up the screen behind their guy would give him some instant credibility.

“If all those people behind this guy believe him when he says the world is flat, it must be true!”

Some folks who are familiar with my past ask me why I don't try for a careeer in TV news. My instant response is that I long ago realized that I have a face (and body) for radio or print media, not the screen. So maybe I should keep on looking for something else to do. Besides, I really don't like to travel very far and a credible human backdrop would probably spend a lot of times in airplanes.

Now, on to another topic. If you are a Quad-City area high school football fan and were watching the late night sports report on Friday, there was a story that undoubtedly brought you from your possible drowsy state. For those of us who are proud alumni of Pleasant Valley High School, it was a shock: Pleasant Valley 38, Bettendorf 0.

It was the first time Bettendorf had been shut out in six years, it's worst conference defeat in history and the worst loss it had experienced since 1970. The Spartan win came after 12 straight losses to the Bulldogs.

“This win was for all the PV players past and present,” PV linebacker Dallas Carter was quoted as saying after the game. Truer words were never spoken.

Back in the late 1960s, Pleasant Valley was a new football program. We had convinced some schools like Camanche, Northeast of Goose Lake and Clinton St. Mary's to play us. But perhaps no game was more anticipated than an October encounter with the Bettendorf JV team. The Bulldogs had agreed to play their JV against our more inexperienced varsity on the Bettendorf field. I was a manager on that team. Since it was just a few miles to the field, our guys suited up and boarded the bus. That's when the snow began to fall. It was one of those early snowstorms, with big, wet flakes. We sat there for a few minutes, wondering where our coaches were.

Soon, the coach boarded the bus and said, “Boys, I've got some bad news. Bettendorf just called and canceled the game. They don't want their field to get chewed up in this wet weather.” I thought there would be a full-scale riot. I've never seen a team as upset, especially before the first kickoff. Our guys had no choice than to climb off the bus, change clothes and go home. We didn't have a lighted football field yet, so there was no other alternative.

As the years went by, the Bulldogs went their way and we went our way, until the two schools grew closer to similar enrollment and became members of the same conference. That led to a decade of disappointment and Bettendorf dominance until last Friday night.

I realize that most of the officials of the two schools who made the decision to cancel that game more than four decades ago are long gone. But I'd like to think that our coaches from back then are smiling this week.

So, congratulations to the 2012 Spartan football team. Decades of alumni salute you!

The journey ends and another begins

By JEFF ORVIS

She was supposed to live to be 100.

When we had my mom's 80^th birthday celebration in February, the talk was that next major milestone would be a good time for another big bash. We knew she was slowed by some arthritis that caused her to use a walker. But she didn't let that slow her down in the ensuing months as she continued with her church work, worship and study, looking after her flowers and occasionally engaging me in an evening political debate.

None of us could have imagined that little more than five months after that birthday celebration, she would be facing the first of three major abdominal surgeries in a month, two weeks of frustrating and grueling rehab and ultimately, her last glorious voyage.

Mom, Waneta Orvis-Mosier, died last Tuesday. We had her funeral today (Saturday). She was laid to rest on top of the hill, next to my dad, at Pleasant Valley Cemetery.

When we took her to the emergency room at Trinity Medical Center-Bettendorf on July 29, a quick evaluation and some tests indicated the need for immediate surgery. The word went out and soon we had about a dozen family and close friends filling the surgical waiting room. That was a long night, but the wonderful surgeon came out after more than two hours of surgery to carefully explain just what he had to do to repair the injury.

A week later, we moved her to a local care center for what she realized would be rigorous rehabilitation. Her aim at that point was to quickly regain the strength she needed to get around with that walker and return to an active life. But her appetite was next to non-existent. Dehydration set in and that, coupled with an alarming (and virtually undetected) spike in her potassium level caused a return to the hospital. Two more surgeries in the span of 48 hours were required. This time, she was placed on a respirator. When it was determined that another major infection had set in, it was soon apparent that her body was wearing out.

I realize that many of you have had relatives that have faced major health problems. I detail what Mom experienced mainly for those who have asked me what caused her to go from a vibrant, smiling, loving mother, grandmother and great-grandmother to critical condition within such a short time.

It's been said that Mom had the mind and spirit of a 40-year-old in the body of an 80-year-old. She loved her family, friends and especially her church family. The first Christmas I was home after moving from Belle Plaine, we had a huge blizzard on Christmas Eve. Although authorities pleaded with motorists to stay home, she was determined to drive across the city to her church. I tried to remind her that God was everywhere and He would find her in our condo as quickly as he could when we got stuck on the side of a snow-covered city street.

Since it was Christmas, I said I would ride along, but I was NOT driving! In fact, I had plans on curling up on the floor of the front seat until we got there. When we did arrive at the church, some of her friends were amazed that I had not volunteered to drive. I just told them that it was entirely her idea and they quickly understood.

I've learned a lot in the last five weeks. After taking for granted that we had a new hospital just down the road, I learned there are many dedicated, compassionate health care professionals working there. Most of the nurses and CNAs I encountered were certainly not only more knowledgeable, but stronger than I am!

I learned how understanding my sister's employers are as they allowed her to travel to Iowa twice in a month for extended stays and how loving and understanding her husband has been as he balanced holding the household together in Florida, watching an active three-year-old (his grandson) as his daughter (my niece) recovered from some scheduled surgery. All this, and more, as he serves as an interim pastor at a church in St. Augustine.

Mom would be pleased to know that her passing enabled me to become better aquainted with my awesome niece and nephew and great-nephew (that active three-year-old who already shows that he has a heart of gold just like his mom and uncle).

I learned that Mom was loved and respected by a whole host of people in this area. Through those final days, I was reminded again and again by her pastor and mine that Mom was ready for that final journey. I have no doubt she had the best seat in the house today as we all celebrated her life.

I've never held the hand of someone as they took there last breath. Everybody has been concerned about how I'm doing. Mom needs to know that I listened to her and later to those two wonderful pastors and when she took that last breath, nine hours after the respirator was removed, my first thought was not one of sorrow, but a thought of celebration for a wonderful life and her even more wonderful eternal future.

There will undoubtedly be some rough days and weeks ahead, as I wrestle with this loss and look ahead to my future. But she seemed to know that I would come out okay. She prepared me well and pointed me in the right direction. I just need to remember that.

Dad's photographic legacy

By Jeff Orvis

If you are blessed to have had a good relationship with your parents, you know they will leave a part of themselves with you when they are gone. Sometimes it takes us years to realize just what that part may be. For some, it may be a hefty bequest or a thriving business. For others, it may be a positive mannerism you may not have even realized where it came from until you start exhibiting the same mannerism and you suddenly realize that Mom or Dad did or thought the same way.

In my recently enforced idle hours, I have started to attempt to preserve what I can only describe as my father's legacy. For much of his adult life, Dad worked in a lab at Alcoa, testing metal. As a sideline, he was a photographer, specializing in wedding photography. When his bosses at the plant learned he could use a camera, he was assigned the additional duties of plant photographer for the public relations department. I still remember those late Saturday mornings, watching him load that bulky Graphic camera, complete with the slide film holders and heavy tripod into the Buick for a trip to a wedding. Although he didn't attend many parties that weren't family-related, he seemed to thrive in the organized chaos of a wedding and reception.

Dad also like to fish, a passion that I only shared grudgingly. Living near the Mississippi River, he would often take a pole and drive over to the lock and dam and try to land enough panfish for a later dinner, stopping only when night fell or the mosquitoes won the war. When it came time for family vacations, one of our favorite destinations was north central Minnesota, where friends of my folks had a wonderful cabin overlooking Sylvan Lake near Brainerd. Mom and Dad continued these trips after my sister and I had left home. On one trip, I'm not exactly sure when this happened, as they headed north out of Minneapolis, instead of heading northwest toward Brainerd, they headed northeast toward Duluth and the Arrowhead region bordering Lake Superior.

That's where this legacy began to develop. The Arrowhead region of Minnesota, including the Boundary Waters Canoe Area, probably has some of the best fishing in the Midwest, if not the whole country. But it also has some of the best scenery available east of the Rockies. While Dad probably had the fishing pole in the car, he began packing a camera and plenty of film. They would jump in the car first thing in the morning from their cabin or motel room and try to get lost along the roads that jutted off of the famed Gunflint Trail.

When they returned home from these week-long excursions, they usually didn't bring many fish home, except for the wonderful smoked salmon they picked up from a rural outpost. But they did bring several rolls of spent film. A couple of weeks later, the mailman would deliver packages of 4 x 5 proofs showing some of the most wonderful Minnesota scenery – peaceful trails, raging streams, wonderful waterfalls and of course, that inland sea known as Superior.

The best time for photography in this area is late September, when the fall colors are at their peak. Since Mom was still working, Dad often took this trip by himself. In this era before cell phones, we would always spend an anxious week, praying that he wouldn't get lost or attacked by the black bears that were definitely in the area. In fact, one of the pictures he shot was accompanied by the story that he had this sense that he was being watched. In the shadows of one of the pictures, it could be argued that there was a bear lurking, watching him.

Another picture he shot is one we call the “ray” picture. As he was shooting the shore of Lake Superior, the sun was just in the right angle to create a ray of light shining from the top corner to the center of the frame. It was as if God was saying, “Well done!”

Dad has been gone for more than 30 years now. But he left behind binders full of these prints. In hopes of preserving his work, I have begun the time-consuming exercise of scanning these prints onto my computer, hoping to transfer them to DVD for more lasting storage. Dad was a man of few words, but I feel like he's talking to me with each picture I scan. He was not one to shy away from new technology, although it did take us several years to get our first color TV. As I scan these pictures, I can imagine what it would be like if he were still here. He would have been 85 years old this year. He would probably spend fall days capturing more spectacular scenes, undoubtedly with a digital camera. Then he would spend the snowy winter afternoons in front of a computer screen with a photo editing software program, making minor changes in his work in an attempt at perfection.

You may have heard that old joke about St. Peter giving a tour to new arrivals in Heaven. They come to a closed door and someone asks what's behind that door. St. Peter replies, “We've got to be quiet. Those folks in that room are all (insert a religion here). They think they're the only ones here.”

I can envision Dad walking down this corridor, passing the various religion rooms, along with rooms containing various political groups, etc. He's got a fishing pole in one hand and a camera in the other until he comes to the area where there's a small boat along a dock on a small lake in an area that looks a lot like a sunny Minnesota fall day.

He turns to St. Peter and says, “Thanks, I'm home now.”

Not your father's minor league ball park

By Jeff Orvis

The other night, I did something that I hadn't done for at least 20 years – I went to a minor league baseball game. I realize that those of you who know me may find this hard to believe. Much of my professional life, as well as free time, has been centered around sports. But with numerous high school teams to cover and my rabid interest in the Chicago Cubs, I just hadn't found time to make the effort to go to a minor league game.

On this night, the pastor of my mom's church was scheduled to throw out the first pitch at a Quad-City River Bandits game. 

The team was hosting a church night promotion and she was able to get tickets at a discounted price. Before the start of the game, the pastor even arranged for a short Bible study. He got the club to allow him to use one of the luxury suites for a few minutes. I thought maybe he was going to suggest that Abner Doubleday had been at the Last Supper, but instead he found an interesting Biblical reference to Bandits.

The River Bandits play in the Lower A Midwest League. Their park, Modern Woodmen Park, sits on the banks of the mighty Mississippi and has often been cited as one of the most picturesque parks in minor league baseball. The area has hosted a pro team since 1901, when the River Rats began play. Over the years, the name has changed, as has the major league affiliation. Some of the more colorful names for the local team have included the Riversides, Knickerbockers, Prodigals, Blue Sox, Quads and DavSox, as well as the names of several major league teams. The team has been affiliated with 10 big league teams over the years, starting with the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1936. Their current affiliation is with the St. Louis Cardinals.

When I was much younger, I attended some games and other events at the old ball park. When the California Angels were the major league affiliation, our town was the first stop for one of the first “bonus babies,” a big, strapping outfielder who was signed for a $200,000 bonus. As I recall, he went on to play in the majors for a few years, but never quite made the Hall of Fame. I remember being one of the members of a capacity crowd who saw the California Angels big league club play our local Class A team in an exhibition. We also were there for a pro wrestling program and I was in the stands when the late, great Johnny Cash performed a free concert, at the invitation of a local clergyman.

When we attended games as kids, we would wait for somebody to foul off a pitch, then scramble to the top of the stands and look out through huge openings in the wall to see if the ball hit any cars. The stadium featured a great view, but the benches were uncomfortable and the stadium could be drafty.

My first thought when I stepped inside the stadium on my most recent trip was, “This certainly isn't your father's baseball stadium!” Over the years, it has undergone several renovations and the most recent is truly awesome! I already mentioned the luxury suites. For those with limited mobility, they were easily accessed via an elevator. When the elevator doors open, you are not met by the river breezes, but you step into a climate-controlled, carpeted lobby. Walk down a hall and you see doors to 20 suites on your right. To your left, is a large dining area, complete with linen tableclothes and silver. This area is available all year for special events. Each of the suites include comfortable seating inside, a TV and a kitchenette.

Back downstairs, where the common folk mingle, the old wooden benches have been replaced by individual seats. There's a stadium club behind the seats for those who would like to take a break from the action for some refreshment. There's a wide variety of concessions with plenty of attentive and helpful personnel ready to see to your every need. There's a huge TV screen in left field which offers replays, etc.

If you go to a minor league game expecting to see the next major league superstar, you may or may not succeed. The oldest kid on the River Bandits' team is 24. Many of them make no more than $1,200 per month. But the hopes, dreams and potential on that field is beyond measure.

At one time, baseball was thought to be America's game. Lately, stock car racing and football have shared that designation in the minds of many fans. But it's not difficult to see the argument put forth by baseball fans. The Davenport team is one of 16 teams in its league. There are 14 other teams in the other “Low A” class. Add to that 30 teams in three leagues in High A, 30 teams in three leagues in Class AA, 46 teams in three leagues in Class AAA, as well as 22 other teams in Short Season A Basll in two leagues, 18 teams in two leagues in Advanced Rookie ball, 69 teams in four leagues in Rookie ball and six more teams in one league in Fall ball. That's more than 250 minor league baseball teams playing in four countries. That's a lot of young men who undoubtedly all harbor the dream of being the next multi-million dollar star of a World Series champion.

Modern Woodmen Park may not be Wrigley Field. But it's a chance to wander in, grab a dog and a beer and be entertained for two or three hours without having to take out a second mortgage on your house for the privilege. The chance to see a future superstar is not guaranteed, but is offered as a bonus at no additional charge.