By Jeff Orvis
Random thoughts time. That means I
probably don't have enough to stick to one subject, but since it's
been a few weeks since I last posted, I have collected a few thoughts
on a variety of topics and I hope you find something interesting.
When I was growing up and we
would visit my grandparents in rural western Illinois, I was
introduced to the party line telephone concept. For those of you
under the age of 50, let me explain. Folks were connected to the
phone system via one line that would serve several homes. You knew a
call was for you via a predetermined series of rings. Otherwise, the
call might be for your neighbor. But since there was no such thing as
a privacy switch on the telephone, if you were having a particularly
lonely day, you could pick up the phone and listen in on another
conversation not meant for you and suddenly you knew all the news and
gossip in the neighborhood.
Fast forward to the 21st
century and we have the new version of the party line. It's called
Facebook. Communication is achieved not by phone, but via the
computer keyboard. The nice thing about this is your thoughts can be
posted for all the world to read, but there are also privacy settings
built in which will allow you to determine who reads what you write.
Every morning, I get out of bed, make
the coffee, open the drapes in the living room, turn on the Today
show and hop onto Facebook on my Kindle. Instantly, for just the cost
of the monthly internet connection charge, I can be in contact with
200+ friends across the country and around the world. For example, my
first post this morning reported that I awoke to 21 degrees and light
snow. Before long, two friends responded. One said it was 70+ degrees
where he and his wife were vacationing in Hawaii. The other said it
was just over 50 degrees in Ireland, where he had been sent for a
working visit by his employer.
This weekend, my niece is getting
married to a fine man in Florida. Although I will be watching the
snow fly while they recite their vows a thousand or more miles away,
I expect a full report from several sources later that day, thanks to
Facebook.
Laura and Kevin, while I won't be
there to personally experience your wonderful day, rest assured that
I will be there in spirit and wish you all the happiness you deserve
as you continue your grand life adventure.
As I may have mentioned before in
this space, in my younger years I played around with college
radio. I had weekly shows first at Central College in Pella and later
at St. Ambrose in Davenport. But I soon came to the realization that
I would never have a voice like James Earl Jones. Besides, radio
folks have to work on weekends and holidays, at least for a few
years. And until you make it in the major markets, you usually don't
make much more money than full time reporters on weekly newspapers.
But I have always marveled at men who
have voices that make you sit up and take notice when you hear them
on the radio. The aforementioned Jones immediately comes to mind. I
remember one time when I was in Salt Lake City for a friend's
wedding. We were in Temple Square on Sunday and were fortunate to sit
in on a network radio broadcast. I can still feel the chills run up
my spine when the announcer, using that commanding voice, said, “For
the 39th consecutive year, the CBS Radio Network proudly
presents...”
My bedside radio is set to WMT in
Cedar Rapids, despite the fact it is a Fox News affiliate and
presents way more conservative programming than necessary. It's still
the best place to get news, weather and sports each morning before my
feet hit the floor. And it is the flagship station for Hawkeye
sports.
On Saturday night, they air a show
from an individual named Joe Pags. I guess he's famous. When I first
heard him, I thought, “When I grow up, I want a voice like his.”
Then I heard what he had to say, how he didn't even want to breathe
the same air as President Obama and I immediately thought, “I'd
take his voice, but he can keep what's left of his brain.”
Unfortunately, the other individual
that comes to mind when I think of really neat speaking voices is
that Republican obstructionist in the senate, Mitch
McConnell. God gave him a wonderful speaking voice. But in my
opinion, he quit before he gave him much compassion or common sense.
So I listen to him for a few minutes before I literally feel my brain
turning to mush and my temperature spiking and I switch over to that
left-leaning, liberal media, such as CNN or NBC or CBS.
My final thought for today has
to do with the coaching changes happening or needing to happen in
Chicago pro sports. The Cubs recently hired Joe Maddon to lead them
to the World Series promised land. Many of my Facebook friends who
are Cub fans feel this guy is the second coming of Walter Alston and
are already clearing their calendars in late October for the Fall
Classic.
Meanwhile, the Bears are in a
tailspin, having dropped their last two games where their opponents
each scored more than 50 points. By Monday morning, Chicago media was
all over this one, demanding the team fire Coach Marc Trestman. He's
a nice guy who has had success elsewhere, but he's just not Bear
tough. At least that's what some of the commentators were saying.
So after a couple of days of careful
contemplation, I have come up with the solution. Send Trestman away
and hire Joe Maddon to coach the Bears. He's already looking for a
home in Chicago and has a couple of free months before baseball
spring training begins. I don't know if he knows anything about
football, but he certainly already has the Chicago attitude. At his
press conference when he was introduced to local media, he ended it
by buying a shot and a beer for everybody in the room.
If he is to be the savior of the Cubs,
give him a chance with the Bears. Who knows?
